Expressing Emotion in the Arts

 

What would you rather see? Fourteen well executed pirouettes by an eight year old? A fixed grin
plastered on each rotation, on top of an athletic posture. Abdominals bulging at the seams.
Or a dancer moving to the music because they simply could not do anything else in that moment?
Picture Gene Kelly overcome with joyous infatuation as he springs across the floor. The subtle
breath you witness, as Ballerina Francesca Hayward as Juliet feels the skin of Romeo for the first
time.
To me- there is no comparison. There are certain performances which are etched on one’s heart as an audience member. The kind of displays which appear so authentic, you can practically adopt the emotive thoughts of each dancer. I believe such artistry is a tacit kind of knowledge which only the finest performers can carry. You may be able to teach a human to find their physical centre of alignment, but you can’t teach a human to feel.

This got me thinking as a teacher, about how to emphasise this message to my students. I admit I
am guilty of loosing perspective at times as I mull over the syllabus notes, determined to clarify
where the head should be facing on count 5. Not to deny the importance of physical precision in
training of course, but it’s all too easy to forget that dancing above anything else- is an art.
I fear that in recent times the American trend of elitist competitions has churned out prodigal
robots. Machines of technique who can master the moves when directed, but of whom are ‘dead’
behind the eyes. It seems that the prime aim of many performances is to impress, not to imprint.
Create envy rather than connection. Raise the game rather than share an unspoken experience.
So I question what it takes to inhabit this ability to touch an audience. 

Perhaps this kind of tacit knowledge is natural, or can it indeed be practiced? Is there a way to tap into our own emotions as
we dance? In other words, dance evolving FROM an emotional experience, rather than dance
evolving out of of technical instruction?

However, I must be honest with myself. Not only do I tend to prioritise technique in class as a
teacher- which is incredibly hypocritical! But I also fear I have lost that connection within myself. Over the years I became more focused with performing for the approval of others. The obsession with portraying the perfect mask not only detached my emotions from my movements in dance, but also in my every day life. How I felt- how I feel is numbed out by keeping busy, setting goals, making negative assumptions. Sometimes these are an antidote to the pain of feeling something.
From facing reality.

But creativity is a channel where one can express those words which cannot be spoken. And what
could be better than sharing that with others?
A secret language of the soul.

I will leave now with the inclusion of one of my favourite dances I have witnessed over the years. IfI ever feel that hollow numbness which incapacitates me, I know I can watch this piece- and feelsomething. I hope you feel something too.

‘Fix you’: So you think you can dance duet: Robert and Alisson

References

Lythgoe, N. (Director). (2012). Fix You (Contemporary)- Robert and Alisson (All Stars) [Video file].

USA: Fox. Retrieved January 31, 2021, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?

v=do2vmsmdwlk.

Into the Unknown...

Not only does the title of this blog make me want to channel my inner Elsa in an attempt to hit

those high notes (which are never hit), but it also fills me with a sense of dread.

The unknown. What does that mean? Why is the utterance of it saturated with fear? I think the fact that there is no answer……is the answer in itself.

There is no doubt that 2020 cast great uncertainty over the entire world. The onset of a global

pandemic no one could have predicted which genuinely threw normality into disarray. I still have those moments of strange realisation as I see deserted streets, a few hushed mask wearers

drifting by. This is our new normal. The real life Shaun of the Dead (without the humour). Where

one can only rely on the government to assign our fate- whatever they say goes and quite frankly

that changes on a day to day basis.

During the last wave of the pandemic (Dec 2020) it was reported that 50% of UK adults expressed extreme worry as a result of the uncertainty associated with Covid. (YouGov Plc, 2020). A statistic in defence of the notion that human beings like certainty.

I can certainly relate to this and as a performer I acknowledge that the unpredictable industry was a contributing factor to my ‘downfall’.

This got me thinking about the dichotomy of training in the dance world. Ultimately, in the dance studio there tends to be a desire to control. Whether that be a student attaining mastery of their body, the tutor dictating control over their dancers, or an attempt to manipulate a subsequent reaction. This could be something as simple as seeking praise from a teacher. I envisage the process much like a formula- if you stretch more, work hard- you’ll get better. Get better? Be good. Be good? = Get a job.

Well wouldn’t it be wonderful if it were that simple? I think if dancers were rewarded in proportion to their level of work ethic, there would be a lot more success stories out there. I’m not denying that commitment does play a huge part in career success, but what about that other factor? That mythical ingredient; Luck.

I think many like to ignore the existence of luck. After all, common phrases such as ‘you create

your own luck’ are often disputed, as though credit is deducted from anyone who has grafted in

order to achieve. But surely both luck and dedication can play a part?

Maybe it’s not so much about luck, but being in the right place at the right time. Having a face

which fits the part- something which I learnt often holds more weight than talent itself. Knowing the right people. Just having the right vibe. Maybe a dancer reminds a casting director of when they were young themselves? There can be so many reasons why someone gets the golden job offer how committed you are to the cause can only go so far.

I found this frankly, quite devastating. I didn’t realise how much I pinned my hopes on the idea that input would be related to output. But sometimes, there is only so much you can do. If i went for an audition and they were looking for a 5’2 brunette, no amount of sit ups were going to get me that job. This introduced the overwhelming sense of not having control over anything. I could never be enough, ever. The destructive road I proceeded down of subtly controlling my food and body weight perhaps counteracted this anxiety- proving the illusion that I could still have certainty over something.

Anyway- that went down a deep hole.

My point is, performers have to deal with this level of stress on an everyday basis. It may be a fairly novel concept to the rest of the world- to the Barbershop owner who awaits the briefings, waiting for the green light to reopen the salon To the retired Mother who fears that she’ll be unable to meet her due granddaughter until the cessation of the next wave. Or more significantly, to every person who dreads the day they get news of a positive Covid result. A virus which doesn’t discriminate and which navigates it’s path of destruction in no predictable manner.

No wonder our mental wellbeing is compromised.

So what is the answer? Well, I don’t think it’s nearly that simple but I do like the following quote,

spoken by John Allen Paulo:

“Uncertainty is the only certainty there is.” (Paulo, 1945 as cited in Hayes 2020)

A quote which for myself prompts an air of acceptance. We know what we resist persists and the

struggle to fix, correct or control is almost a pointless pursuit.

I must reference a conversation I had with a fellow ex performer, who only yesterday described that they were starting to feel more at peace than they had done in years. They account this relief to the acceptance that things just are just as they are. What can we do about it? For my friend, each day previously was spent scouring auditions and comparing success to others in the rat race of theatre.

Perhaps the fact that work is so scarce for EVERYONE in fact takes away that torture of human

comparison, thus enforcing the reassessment of our priorities.

Could it be a possibility that this pandemic could support the rediscovery of one’s values? I can say with certainty I will for one never take for granted being able to teach in a studio, where I can

actually SEE my students in the flesh. Many have expressed that it has emphasised the

importance of human connection, and I guess there’s nothing like a global pandemic to invite unity amongst us.

At this point as I transition from my BAPP student role, I don’t so much view it as a voyage into a

new uncertainty, because the unknown has always been and always will be a philosophy of life.

All I can use is the tools from my experiences gone by to help steer that ship into the days ahead.

And predictability is ‘boring’ right?

I shall look upon the introduction to the Dancestrong community with excitement, curiosity, and

possibility. 

I shall aim to revel into the UNKNOWN!

References

Hayes, J (2020, June 28). 20 Inspiring Quotes About Embracing Uncertainty. Retrieved January

29, 2021, from https://www.jenhayes.me/20-inspiring-quotes-about-embracing-uncertainty/

Wave 9: Pre-Christmas 2020. (2021, January 26). Retrieved January 29, 2021, from https://

www.mentalhealth.org.uk/wave-9-pre-christmas-2020 All figures are from YouGov Plc.

Total sample size was 4,277 UK adults 18+. Fieldwork was undertaken between 21st andthe 23rd December 2020. The survey was carried out online. 

A goodbye is not forever- until next time.

 

It's been a bit tricky motivating myself to write another blog post, mainly because I've been reveling in the freedom of being FINISHED!!! Well, I say finished but who knows. If I find out in February I've been awarded a massive fail then I'll be back at square one. (But I'm hoping this won't be the case of course!)

I will be contemplating the meaning of 'finished', but first I just wanted to discuss the experience of the final presentations which took place from all of us Module 3s. I honestly felt so proud of all of my peers who gave absolutely excellent performances. I found myself being encapsulated with every person's individual story- so indicative of how each journey has been customised in a unique way.

As well as different topics of inquiry, the areas of learning that each student acknowledged were entirely relevant to their own experiences across the past 18 months. Each individual has grown in an area they never know required expanse, whilst the demonstration of open mind thinking is a formative progression from the initial, frightened newbies we once were! 

 

My favourite aspect of each display, was the final revealing of the artefact- concepts I'd heard about over our skype discussions but it was wonderful to see all of the final products in the flesh. The alternative ways of presenting knowledge demonstrated a celebration of creativity, from songs which had been composed, to children's books which had been illustrated, to artistic sculptures, to choreographed dances with spoken word. Although the process of the presentations was spread over two whole days, the time just flew by.

Before I knew it, Adesola and Helen were closing with their final words.

BUT.

It's not goodbye forever. Much like the continual processes I have become accustomed to in this course, merely shutting the door to BAPP would be a great injustice to all that has been learnt. One of the main takeaway messages from my journey has been the importance in making connections; Where new ways of thinking can be applied to situations in practice. Reflection, change, and self observation are skills I will take with me eternally going forwards.

Furthermore, features like keeping this blogpage and sharing utterances via Web 2.0 networks are vital in the process of reflection. As we know, knowledge is made in communities of other thinkers and it would be such a shame to eject myself from such a community when I have learnt a wealth of information from others.

Ultimately, yes, this degree requires a certain amount of academic submissions. But the purpose of their completion is not to solely get an approval mark from an examiner. The activities are there to help one develop as a practitioner so that eventually, the skills can be transferred into everyday experience.

 

But how does this work?

 

For instance, the areas of revelation in my inquiry were thoughts such as 'would using verbal communication with students as feedback, rather than just assessing their physical progress, be a better marker of their wellbeing?'. Therefore in my teaching practice I have now implemented a check in at the start and end of class which I deem as beneficial. Just the chance to give some encouraging words through this pandemic or to give students a space to have a brief chat before their training, which allows some emotional connection. My hope is that it gives the dancers a voice, or at least- Introduces the idea that they are worthy of having one. 

I'm also less chained to keeping my lesson plans set in stone. It may be that I notice the children are becoming disengaged (a common occurance over Zoom!). A year ago I would have felt nervous to stray from the exercises I'd had listed in my session notes, but now I am more able to courageously reflect in action- try something different. Maybe do a quick game. Ask a question. Offer something unexpected. This has only been possible because of all my research, and subsequently the development of my thinking processes.

Another aspect I have been thinking about is the benefit of support from others. This is something I always find very hard to seek out. I wonder whether much of this is down to being self employed from which I have adopted the cemented stance of fierce independence. Almost as though it demonstrates strength. 

In fact, the reality is quite the opposite and rather a great amount of courage is required to demonstrate vulnerability in asking for help. Many of my own battles have arisen because I have remained so determined to be isolated. I suppose it's also 'safer' to keep the messiness of feelings or prospects of judgement at bay. Performers are wonderful at putting on a mask.........

 

But the BAPP processes have challenged many of those pre-conceived beliefs. I have realised that there is strength in numbers, that we are social creatures and that despite the pandemic, humans will always find a way to assimilate. Plenty can be gained from observing others, how people think, how they work. It's incredibly humbling to realise that what I may see is entirely different to what someone else could see.  As Wayne Dwyer says:

Figure 1: Wayne Dwyer Quote: Perspective

Therefore, there has been a strong encouragement for us as a module group to continue in our connections to the course and we are hoping to brainstorm ways in which this can be facilitated. Rather than us graduate students dropping off the face of the earth, it would be hugely beneficial for us all to keep documenting our journeys going forwards. Not only will this cement the awareness of the continual learning/reflective cycle, but I know that I certainly would have benifitted during module 1 from being able to hear from any BAPP alumni! 

I think the emergence of our Professional Practice Facebook group will be a platform which enables the discussions to continue. It will also be our responsibility as students to maintain our personal blogs by habitiually posting regular content. I do intend to commit to that so watch this space!

So all in all? I am left with a mix of emotions as things stand at the 'end' of my studies. 

Relief, admiration for others, contentment, apprehension, curiosity......but primarily; gratitude. For the opportunity to learn, for the wonderful people I have met, and for the commitment to ongoing professional development within my practice. Hopefully thus becoming an ever improving teacher, student, administrator, dancer, choreographer, and emerging (reflective) mind.

 

References

Dwyer, W. (n.d.). Wayne Dwyer quote. [Digital image]. Retrieved January 16, 2021, from https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/294985844314922623/

 

 

Signed, sealed, delivered: Submission relief and teaching transformations.....

 I SUBMITTED!......

Never thought I'd see the day. I felt such an overwhelming wave a relief once I'd uploaded the documents to Turn it in, and although Covid has eliminated any possibility of 'celebrations', it's been satisfying enough to be able to have some of my evenings back without constant proof reading my report!

I've been feeling rather guilty as I've been meaning to do another blog post for the past couple of weeks, but I found it increasingly hard to justify writing something when most of my efforts of late had been centred around finalising my artefact. The project ended up being different to a format I originally anticipated. Not a problem though as I now revel in the fact that I am able to change my mind.

It was apparent that my peers were following a similar trajectory, as during our final skype discussion it was clear that a fountain of ideas were continually being generated! It was wonderful to hear how certain threads of information had been inspired from everyday encounters- perhaps a comment from someone, or a discovery in a piece of literature. It meant that the creation of each artefact was in no way static. The process was evolving every day, reflecting that exciting buzz of creativity we are often so fearful of trusting.

I noticed the contrast between how tentative we often all seemed to be around academic essay submissions,  and 'returning home' to being able to produce something in our creative medium. From drawings, mind maps, dances, Illustrative Children's books, song writing- all of our artefacts sound entirely individual and unique. I cannot wait to see the finished products when we come to present!

In the end, I decided to merge my choreographed dance piece with an art work I painted. I experienced the usual imposter doubt because 'I am not an artist'. But I thoroughly enjoyed putting paint onto the page! Adesola suggested combining both mediums in a video format which required me to study some imovie tutorials. After much trial and error, I think I managed it in the end. I will be very apprehensive to present my final project to other's eyes, but I will continually remind myself that the creation process was the beneficial factor. The goal of the artefact is not merely to seek approval. (Example of the work in progress below). 

As well as fleeting ideas about things I'd like to vocalise in my Viva, I have been reflecting on what I have learnt over the past 16 months. In recent weeks recognise that I have been more able to engage in self enquiry within my own teaching practice. I identify certain skills which I may have attained through my study, and seen how they translate into the studio. Additionally, I cannot deny that all of the topical literature and interview findings have impacted on my practice. I have included some examples below:

1) Since becoming more akin to being pushed out of my comfort zone, I've aimed to be more flexible in my teaching approach. I have tried to be less fixated on a lesson plan and encouraged the adjustment of my classes according to the 'feel of the room'.

I try to learn from my students and adopt their ideas rather than imposing my own. Especially with the younger ones! I have noticed that the more collaborative they are with the lesson, the more they seem to benefit! As Mainwairing and Krasnow (2010) explain, it can be empowering for a pupil to believe they have contributed to the class. Positively reinforcing a child when they demonstrate desirable qualities, encourages more behaviour like this in future. Overall, the level of student engagement seems to improve.

2) Similarly I am increasingly aware of my own pitfalls. I fear rowdy environments, chaos, lack of discipline, but mainly because I believe that to reflect my lack of skill as a teacher. That's MY issue. Not the student's problemI have begun to question my aversion to a Child being more vocal. Why could I not embrace their energy instead? Utilise it and recognise the expression as a facet of their vibrant personality. 

There is no need for me to feel threatened by the un-predictibility of such behaviour. 

3) I have observed the correlation between encouragement and performance level. I have always expressed positivity and encouragement towards my students, but I never really appreciated that this could indeed benefit their performance. Rather, my perspective was that being kind and compassionate perhaps led to less physical improvement from a student, but that the approach was still preferable to being authoritarian.

But I now I believe the contrary-.  that a student's potential can be reached even with a softer teaching approach. In fact, pushing a student too hard with critique can subsequently backfire. 

4) My eyes are more open to student sensitivities. Although I have always been concerned about students who are very quiet in their nature, or who seem to lack confidence, I have been thinking more about how I can help such individuals. A teenage student last week seemed particularly pre occupied and quite sad. In hindsight, I wish I'd spoken to her verbally and asked if she was OK. Having more personal dialogue with my adolescent students is something I definitely want to introduce, so I need to be braver in coming forward.

5) Self directed learning: In one of my key texts: The Student Dancer (Buckroyd 2000), an entire chapter is dedicated to autonomous learning. Traditionally, a dance teacher will often assume responsibility for the success or failure of a student (p.117). Buckroyd recognises that this is exhausting for a teacher, and although it can feel frightening to take a step back from that level of control, developing a "grown up, thinking dancer" (Stannard, 1998) is the over arching aim. 

Applying this in practice means I aim to develop the tools for a  self correction. I've been dedicating more time to allowing student's own to practice independently. I have also introduced more opportunities to be creative- allowing the students to choroegraph 16 counts themselves. (I once felt like this was me being a lazy teacher!). But It's not about me. It's about THEM. 

On a final note, I have been trying to embrace the fact that I don't have to be reading books about Qualitative data, and instead I've been reading Atomic Habits- which so far- is brilliant! I believe it can help me with my teaching practice as well as my own personal recovery- demonstrating how identity and beahvaioural systems are the pre cursors to setting goals. It really makes me reflect on my own barriers to change and the unhelpful beliefs I currently hold. 

Additionally, I am aiming to educate myself by listening to more podcasts. I can absolutely recommend the Hard Corps podcast- a series of interviews about mental health with dancers who are determined to vocalise their struggles. I have included the link below:

https://anchor.fm/THEHARDCORPSPODCAST

In the meantime, I hope everyone has an amazing Christmas! We've survived 2020 (just)!

References

Buckroyd, J. (2000). The student dancer: Emotional aspects of the teaching and learning of dance. London: Dance Books.

Clear, J. (2018). Atomic Habits: An easy &proven way to build good habits & break bad ones. Random House. 

Mainwairing, L. M., & Krasnow, D. H. (2001). Teaching the Dance Class: Strategies to Enhance Skill Acquisition, Mastery and Positive Self-Image. Journal of Dance Education, 10(1). Retrieved December 16, 2020, from https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15290824.2010.10387153

THE HARD CORPS PODCAST • A podcast on Anchor. (n.d.). Retrieved December 16, 2020, from https://anchor.fm/THEHARDCORPSPODCAST

A Succinct snapshot- (Kind of)

 

Tis the season.......to have a million and one things to do!

That's how life feels right now- seriously. I was hoping to be able to write a blog post a couple of days ago, directly after our mixed module skype discussion. But then the task of having to compose 550 invoices got in the way, as did lesson prep, as did medical appointments. Oh and the fact that the new tier system has complicated venue hire for the dance school, the pressing task of creating my artefact, and editing my draft before the final deadline.......

But alas, life goes on and things always have a way of getting completed in the end! (I hope). Thankfully, one of the closing messages from Wednesday's discussion was the notion of being 'succinct'. Something which inherently I seem to find impossible. I believe I've spent just as much time trying to deduct a mass of words from the essay as I have creating the report in the first place. I tend to approach my blog displays in the same manner which no doubt bores any readers to tears.

So THIS one will be different. It will be concise, it will be direct, and I will practice the million dollar skill of summarising the relevant information. So, the skype call. What did I learn? What was I left with at the end of the group encounter?

1. Doubt. (Starting off on a negative note), I often come away feeling like I'm drowning in inferiority as my peers discuss their current progress. I always believe I need to be doing better, need to be doing more, I need to rethink every potential endeavour.

   However, being aware of the tendency to resort to this mindset helps me question its value? Adesola emphasised how each inquiry is not comparabable, probably much like every performer is not measurable. Instead 'unique' is the optimum word. Some of my peer's projects may be slightly more focused on theme, others on process, but that will make each artefact completely individual. I can recognise how much richer the displays will be if they inhabit that creative, personal application. Much more exciting than a presentation which is merely rehashed from person to person.

2. I left feeling quite inspired at the same time. Hearing each student talk about the ideas they have generated for the artefact really opened my eyes to the possibilities! Many of us shared the common sense of performance pressure. After filming my artefact last week I was incredibly critical of my dancing- anticipating the shame I will feel at having to display my choreography to others. Horrendous!

   Yet the purpose of an artefact is to present information in a different format to the written word. I believe if one can explain their justification for such a creation, and describe the process experienced to try and convey an overarching message, then the purpose of the artefact will have been fulfilled.

3. An outside perspective. It can be rather blinding to be wrapped up in one's own head. It's incredibly difficult not to presume knowledge- to be unaware of ones priviledge. I have reflected a lot on this, especially throughout the interview data collection stage. My paradigim is different from my participants paradigum. I cannot presume they know my perspective, or understand the lingo I talk about. This became quite evident as Adesola encouraged us to ask eachother questions, which were inspired by what WASN'T said. (Actually one of my artefact themes believe it or not!).

   For example, I could have explained my artefact by saying something like “It's a dance based on joining the dots. The process is never linear so I'm trying to express that through movement. I filmed it in my flat, but this is quite indicative of the enquiry process I have experienced”.

   I may believe that all makes perfect sense, but the listener is probably feeling completely perplexed. Possible questions could therefore be: “How is the flat setting indicative of the enquiry process?” “How did you choose your music?” “Is the dance a particular style? And why did you choose that genre?” “Does the movement indicate topical themes, or the overal study and inquiry process?”.

   You get the idea, taking a step back, it becomes apparent what unspoken words need to actually be voiced.

4. Be succinct. I feel like I totally haven't managed that to be fair. So I am going to go against all my natural urges and stop this blog post here.

   I feel like like falling short of expected standards and slacking off. But I am going to convince myself it's character building. Skill development. An act of kindness to anyone who is reading?! I shall not waste any more of your time!😅

Draft, Discussions and the deliberation of data.

As much as it has been a relief to hand in my draft report, it has also been slightly terrifying. I’ve been trying to reassure myself that the submission is JUST a DRAFT and that it doesn’t need to be 'perfect'. (Thank goodness as I’m sure my work is anything BUT). I do think this is an instance where an external eye will be incredibly beneficial in refining my work. I’ve always found it extraordinary when I a couple of days later I re-read something I've scribed. I'm often baffled at how non-sensical certain paragraphs are. What was I thinking?! So hopefully with an outside eye, those sections of obscurity will be highlighted!

Speaking of ‘outside perspectives’, it was great to emerge from my own insular cave to join the past couple of Skype sessions. The Friday discussion was titled ‘What if you can’t interview anyone?’, which on the surface seemed quite irrelevant at this stage in time, after data collection has been sufficiently completed. But Adesola explained that the focus of the dialogue was in relation to the ingredients for our analysis. Similarly the Module 1 Skype call was centred around the synthesis of information through reflection. Ultimately, the ‘coming together’ of themes, the recognition of patterns, and how to deduct a mass of information into something which resembles significance.

A common trap it seems many of us has fallen into is that of abundance. Unlike quantitive data, qualitative data has the exploratory nature which invites complexity, ambiguity and discovery. The study of concept, relationships and human behaviour is less tangible than a numerical entity, which merely adds expanse to the web of information. In other words, there will ALWAYS be more questions to ask. There will forever be different facets of information, and varying paths to go down. (Probably why I ended up initially writing double the word count.)

So how does one know when to STOP? How can a researcher use process of elimination to reign in on what they constitute as important? 

1. One message Adesola conveyed to me in a 1-1 tutorial is that the report which is handed it will always be in the ‘present’. Infinitely, it will only be relevant to that time and that moment. This arose from the discussion that although the literature review preceded the interview stage, the interview stage then triggered the need to source more literature and so on. The process is not linear. It is not cumulative. It is not chronological. As Weiss (1994) explains, 

“The phases of work in qualitative research overlap and are intermeshed. Analysis of early data contributes to new emphases in interviewing, and the new data collected by the modified interviewing then produces new analyses." (p. 14)

Therefore, the hypothesis will not be answered and this was never the goal anyway. Rather the report will be a cross section of discovery. The final product should indicate the learning acquired through embarking on an inquiry, whilst initiating further threads of interest. 

2) In the Monday Skype discussion, a student from module 1 described how they refined their practice into 6 key areas. They managed this by taking a day in their own life and questioning what practically that specifically entailed. On the surface this approach sounds quite simple, but I admire the novelty of being able to take a step back, question what the ‘question’ is, and not get too bogged down by patterns and complexity. Transferring this attitude to Module 3 is much like the action of always referring back to the initial inquiry question. What is it I want to find out?? It doesn’t have to be as intricate as I anticipate.

3) Owning it. A key take away point from the Module 1 call. We had a great conference around the ethics of training, which conveniently is topical to my inquiry. I felt humbled by the honesty from all my peers, who authentically described introversion as a barrier and echoed their lack of confidence from years of punitive training. I shared a quote from Michael Foucalt who described dance training as the manipulation of docile bodies, linking the idea of discipline with a practiced, puppet like subservience. (1979, p. 138)

Despite being told a body is ‘wrong for dance’, Adesola described a shift in perspective to owning one’s practice. Perhaps it isn’t about dancing for the approval of someone else? An attitude which is so intertwined in the profession. But holding that dance identity to strengthen oneself was a very empowering stance- one which is certainly challenging to attain.

This made me reflect on how I often approach my studies, and subsequently my analysis. Asking myself questions such as:

“What if they think my themes are rubbish?” “Am I missing the point?” “Do I sound academic enough?” “Will the modulators suss me out and see that I’m one huge fraudulent imposter?”. 

I’m not quite sure what these critical questions are trying to achieve, but they all have the underlying aura of the need for approval. Even in the draft submission, I can sense the craving for “Yes, that’s correct”. But the need for approval from others just creates further insecurities, as external validation cannot be relied upon. 

So time and time again, I have to remind myself of the purpose. I have to OWN MY inquiry. The path I take into research will be very different from someone else who may be trying to answer the same inquiry question. What appears relevant to me, will seem inconsequential to another. That doesn’t make it right or wrong. 

Patton (2002) explains this individualised analysis process well; Explaining how one must be open to new discoveries. Patton uses terms such as engaging in “mental excursions”, “side-tracking” or “zigzagging,” connecting the seemingly unconnected. (p. 544). In effect, it’s PLAYING with the data. Which also links back to the encouraged approach for our Skype discussions. (Playing with the information with an air of curiosity. No rights and wrongs, yes and knows, agreeing or disagreeing. Like verbal improv!)

I came across a fairly useful analogy which I will share, especially for those learners who are more visually inclined. The metaphor is that of a kaleidoscope (Dye, Schatz, Rosenberg, & Coleman, 2000) and it’s quite useful when thinking about the stages of analysis. If you imagine a hologram pattern, comprising of multiple shapes which are arranged into a sporadic pattern. The task is then to distinguish the different shapes into sub-piles which are further refined. The coloured glass is the raw data and the angled mirrors are the categories. The flat plates are the overarching group. Here is an example of the diagram below: 

Adapted from: Dye, J. F., Schatz, I. M., Rosenberg, B. A., & Coleman, S. T. (2000,January).Constant comparison method.

SO where do I go now? In conclusion, I strive to take the mentality of individual approach (much like analysis as an individual journey)into the creation of my artefact. Perhaps an easier endeavour as I am ‘given the permission’ to use my creative license. There is less preconceived expectation of right and wrong, and hopefully I can do my best to ‘own it’. Even as I type that, I'm far from convincing myself 😅

I’d best get filming! No doubt I will report back soon (knee deep in corrections probably!)

References

Dye, J. F., Schatz, I. M., Rosenberg, B. A., & Coleman, S. (2000,January).Constantcomparisonmethod:Akaleido- scope of data. The Qualitative Report, 4(1/2). Retrieved from http://www.nova.edu/ssss/QR

Foucault M (1979) Discipline and Punish: The Birth of the Prison, New York:

Penguin Books.

Patton MQ. Qualitative research and evaluation methods. 3rd Sage Publications; Thousand Oaks, CA: 2002. [Google Scholar]

Writing: A Process, a product, a paradox.

I wasn't sure what to expect from the Skype session which was titled: “Talking about Writing workshop". I’ve become quite used to the standard group chats where we are all left to contribute in in our way, so it was rather novel to experience a ‘workshop’. Despite my apprehension, I really enjoyed participating! Perhaps because I was in a familiar role of feeling like I was subordinately being told what to do. (I think the student dancer will never leave me!) But it was incredibly interesting and I found myself making many connections with my current inquiry process.

Peter Thomas began by sharing the idea that writing was an act which many fear. How strange? Something we all do, probably every day, yet a proceedure which can cause such anxiety. I could absolutely resonate with this notion as I havefound myself procrastinating over getting started with my literature review. Mainly because my mind was circling with “Where do I start?!” “How am I meant to structure it?!” “What if I include citations incorrectly?!” (As usual, predicting catastrophe).
My psyche followed the same path when Peter asked us all to scribe on a page of paper all we could think of in answer to the following question:- “What is writing?” He instructed that it must be a continuous prose, we must not read over what we had written, and we must not stop. Throughout the whole activity I was harshly judging my scrawl, questioning what everyone would think if I had to read it out in front of the group. How torturous! 

I was reminded of a kind of therapy I was recommended once which was titled ‘Mind dump’. Literally what it says on the tin- you were to wake up in the morning and for ten minutes, continually just write. Whatever thoughts came into your head, just to get it out on paper. An example of putting into words the thoughts which are in one’s mind- supposedly for therapeutic benefit.

Anyway, thankfully, we didn’t have to read out what we had written, but we were encouraged to share the key definitions we had personally connected to the verb ‘writing’. The discussion which followed was evidence of how a community of practice can really deliver. Ideas were sparking up from all angles, and my own perspective of the writing theme expanded to reflect a far bigger picture. I connected this broadening experience to the process of conducting a literature review. The review requires finding out what is currently out there- the different ideas, discourses, theories and opinions on a particular topic. I often find it sobering to realise that there are multiple angles just to look at one concept.
 

Peter then shared the following quote which I thought held quite a lot of irony. Insinuating that writing is a lonely act, but in knowing text can also be shared with others, a paradox is presented.

Figure 1: Quote on writing, Franz Kafka

 

The sharing of writing was perhaps the barrier to freehand. Peter gave some advice on this, recommending that the process of writing consists of different stages and all serve a particular purpose.

GENERATE: List making/mind mapping/scribbling notes: (Not concerning the reader)

ORGANISE: Connecting themes and ideas. (Concerning own perspectives and the reader)

PRESENT: Write in a style which is appropriate for the audience.  (For the reader)

The process of writing flows back and forth between these three stages. I felt reassured at the notion of Generation. Knowing that at first, it isn’t imperative to be thinking about what the reader may be thinking was quite freeing. The main focus is just getting something down on paper which ultimately helped me begin my literature review. 

In my writing endeavours I have recognised the various stages and the impact they have had on my composition. I’d often generate a paragraph, re read it. Perhaps reorganise ideas. Then reflect on what the reader needed to know. Would they understand my key points of communication? Was the mode of delivery appropriate for academia? Writing a qualitative report would be far more formal in language than a blog post for instance. 

Helen then interjected to prompt us students to make connections between these writing processes and our practice. A frequent motif in these modules of study, everything is connected with everything! Just because we were discussing the topic of writing, doesnt mean that the area of learning cannot be applied elsewhere. Eg

GENERATE: Coming up with choreography/inventing teaching methods/listing to music for dance inspiration/ workshopping a dance.

ORGANISE: Thinking of class structures/ lesson aims/ dance step progression/ linking steps to achieve choreography.

PRESENT: What is the purpose? To perform to an audience? For a Dance exam? To inspire creativity amongst students? To display technical precision?

I'm sure there are other applicable scenarios for these processes and I hope I can become aware of these as the weeks progress. However Macaulay & Cree (1999) explain how awareness can only come with experience.  They suggest that any learner must have an opportunity to practice their skills. When the experiences are "grounded in reality" (p. 192) and lived by the learner, then they are able to transfer their newly acquired processes.  The conventions of generating, organising and presenting are certainly existant in my teaching practice.......

Finally, below I have shared a succint little video: How to Write well instantly- Every time. 

Scott Berkun shares his advice by presenting a time lapse video. He give some good suggestions for generating ideas and it's certainly one for me to rewatch when I'm sat, hands over my laptop, gazing at the blank screen with palpitations!

HOW TO WRITE WELL INSTANTLY- EVERY TIME.

Scott Berkun teaches us some of the techniques he uses to write well. In the background is a timelapse video of him writing an essay - from start to finish.

References

Ignite Seattle (2011, April 28) How to Write well instantly- Every time [video] Youtube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D85NqSrpzew

Kafka, F. (n.d.). [Quotation about the act of writing.]. Retrieved October 18, 2020, from https://allauthor.com/quotes/149656/

Macaulay, C. & Cree, Viviene. (2007). Transfer of learning: Concept and process. Social Work Education: The International Journal. 18. 183-194. 10.1080/02615479911220181.

[The Process of Writing]. (2003, January 4). Retrieved October 18, 2020, from http://member.tokoha-u.ac.jp/~dixonfdm/Core%20Activities/Process%20Writing/process_writing_home.htm