Skype discussion: Messy Blessings.

I arrived at tonight's Skype session feeling a little apprehensive as I knew that it was to have a Module 3 focus. But I predicted it may be good to hear more about how others who are further in the study process were finding things. And in summary it was a very thought provoking discussion!

Kathleen and Tom are currently on Module 3 and they kindly shared details about their inquiry which they are presently undertaking. It was very interesting to listen to their narrative because at the moment whilst I’m merely planning, the thought of actually CARRYING OUT those plans in the future seems very distant- like a project which is hypothetical......mystical.
I think the word I’m trying to find is Unknown. 
A word which does seem to pop up time and time again, yet still holds such an anxious weight behind it.

It’s only when taking a step back from the process of my study that I can reflect on my experiences. I’m often more concerned with theory and content, all whilst desperately trying to avoid doing things 'wrong' . It’s something I have always struggled with as a performer- everything feeling so out of my control in terms of employment, finances and what may happen next. One minute I’m in Japan dancing, the next I’m dressed up as a Cat handing out Promotional Dreamies Cat food to make some money (No joke).
But the process is all about navigating through these unknowns with no particular sense of order. I defined it as messy. It always feels so messy.
I think one of the aspects I find particularly difficult at present is needing to plan my inquiry in such a specific manner, with regulations and ethical steps to consider- yet the actual content of the inquiry is still incredibly loose and broad in substance. It seems like a juxtaposition? How can one apply such a concrete plan to something so messy? It feels a bit like I’m trying to pour hot water into a chocolate teapot. How can all these ideas be contained in a structure?

Figure 1: Chocolate Teapot.

Well, sadly I don’t think there is an answer to this. But hearing a description of the process Module 3 students are currently in was helpful, as they further clarified that a plan can only offer so much. I was interested in hearing from Kathleen about how her assumptions had been challenged through the inquiry process, both from studying the literature and through the interviewing of participants. It seemed that rather than answering the initial question and finding the expected answer, the enriching task of hearing other people’s perspectives on the topics actually prompted even more questions. 
On one hand, this is quite unsettling to hear, but parehaps also rather exciting? Especially when I think about the ultimate purpose of the inquiry endeavour, to develop my practice. Learning from others and hearing their contrasting stances may be fruitful. The findings I amalgamate could very well influence my actions as a Teacher going forwards.

In fact, Adesola summed it up in a very key statement. Perhaps the messiness and unknown isn’t a compromise I need to begrudgingly dodge, maybe it’s a blessing? A life skill to add to the toolbox? Which couldn't really be more relevant in the current climate of how things are standing whilst the UK is on lockdown. NO ONE could have predicted this time last year that by Easter the streets would be deserted, enforced isolation the norm. So maybe the experience of tolerating the uncertainty is helping me to deal with uncertainty in LIFE.

That aside, I did take away some very useful notes from the discussion which I’m now going to include in a nice, structured, certain, formal list!

1) Expect to find out new things all the time- Although I’m planning now, I cannot predict what will arise when conducting my inquiry. And that is OK- That is the nature of qualitative research. One pitfall may be the temptation to then want to explore every new diversion- which could lead to and endless pit of data! Keep going back to the starting point. Keep asking what is relevant. 12 weeks won’t solve everything.

2) Literature- I think I presumed because I’d completed my literature review, that was all done and dusted. But not at all- even on Module three literature and further themes can be explored. This makes perfect sense as new themes arise, and comparing findings with literature is vital in the analysis stage.

3) A reflective journal will be useful when it comes to the analysis stage. Kathleen explained how she wrote in her journal before conducting an interview, and afterwards too. A journal will be useful to jot down feelings, worries, observations. This can then help when critically reflecting on the self, considering how I as a researcher had an effect on the study. What influence did I have? What were the limitations of the process?

4) It was helpful to hear a little more about the analysis format. Triangulation was a topic I wasn’t too familiar with. I came across the short video below which aided my understanding. It was also useful to hear how practical methods like colour coding and mindmapping were systematic ways to look for occurring themes. This is something I will explore more as I approach the planning of my analysis in the written inquiry proposal.

 Figure 2: What is Triangulation in Qualitative Research?

 

 5) And finally, as I said before. Yes things are Messy. They certainly FEEL messy. But just keep putting one foot in front of the other- ‘Beauty in the chaos’ as they say. 

The messiness won’t go away, but that feeling may become more familiar. And right now, when life is so extraordinarily unfamiliar, I’ll take what I can get! 

Resources

'Chocolate Teapot' Jpg. (2011, July 10). Accessed at https://www.alamy.com/stock-photo-teapot-made-of-chocolate-38160143.html


What is Triangulation in Qualitative Research? (2019). Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGTA2jgcNI4